Feminist Wedding Ceremony Script

You are way more likely to hear words like “to aid and abet” (thank you Tom Robbins!!) than anything remotely resembling “to honor and obey” in one of our wedding ceremony scripts.

From the very beginning of a wedding ceremony, when the father walks his daughter down the aisle and hands her off to her soon-to-be-husband, to the final moments of the ceremony, when there is a pronouncement and kiss, and words like man and wife and you may kiss your bride are uttered… traditional patriarchal wedding ceremonies have reinforced traditional gender roles and power dynamics, positioning the man as the dominant figure and the woman as subordinate. These ceremonies include rituals and language that perpetuate stereotypes and inequalities, such as the father giving away the bride, or vows that emphasize subservience and submission.

Rather than emphasizing gender roles and power dynamics, our ceremonies emphasize equality, fairness, and mutual respect between partners. This isn’t something we always do overtly. In most cases it’s through omission, simple tweaks and small adjustments, and by encouraging couples to write their own wedding vows, or choose non traditional “I Do” vows.

Ultimately, the intention of our ceremony scripts is to create a space where love, partnership, and commitment are honored and celebrated without reinforcing outdated gender norms or power imbalances.