Emotionally Intelligent And Authentic Wedding Ceremony Scripts

There are a lot of ways that we can (and do) describe our wedding ceremony scripts — feminist and egalitarian, modern and unique, non traditional and non boring! — but they are also emotionally intelligent, authentic, honest and mature. So many wedding ceremonies seem to swing between unrealistic portrayals of always and forever, or threaten you with divorce! Our ceremony scripts are not sombre or morose, and they don't reference divorce or warn you about how you can get it wrong.

A mature, honest approach.

These ceremony scripts don’t promote highfalutin rainbows and sunsets promises of perfection. Instead they thoughtfully explore the beautiful, intimate, complex and nuanced terrain of relationships — of loving someone even when you don't particularly like them… of growing together in ways that don’t involve anyone micromanaging anyone else… of keeping the magic alive through intentional effort, versus relying on the early days, dopamine derived magic when the sex hormones were flyin!

The beginning of the story, not the end.

Our wedding ceremony scripts recognize that the ceremony, and the act of getting married, is the beginning of the journey and not the grand finale… that a wedding is the prelude to marriage, not the end all be all. It's not always going to be 70 degrees and sunny with clear skies in your relationship, and our ceremony scripts don’t infantilize you and pretend that it will be.

you can handle the truth.

There is a lot of “dumbing down” in many wedding ceremonies, as if we can’t handle the truth. As if we need to be tricked into marriage and then, bait and switch, all the sudden it’s hard work. Babies need sugar to swallow hard truths, but grown ups shouldn’t. If marriage - in some sense - is about maturation and initiation into adulthood and increased responsibility, there's no need to lie about the journey in order to make it more palatable. That’s why we orient towards being realistic and honest.

A life affirming message about love.

Our ceremony scripts offer you an honest portrayal of committed intimate relationships, but also a life affirming one — one that gives you choice, sovereignty and self agency, and treats you like a grownup! Our ceremony scripts presume that a shared commitment to working through hiccups is part of the commitment you’re making.

“We loved so much that you did not trivialize love, nor make it out to be anything fictionalized and likely to be found tied to a big, red, heart balloon. You talked about love in a way that felt like some thing we recognize.” —Simone, bride

In our ceremony scripts we re-imagine what happily ever after looks like, we explore the core meaning of commitment, we take an honest look at the highs, lows, ebb and flow of intimate relationships, and we examine how loving someone — because it is such a mix of inspiration and irritation! — can make you a wiser, more compassionate and better human being.

Both / and

Our ceremony scripts acknowledge that sometimes love is a diamond ring, a wedding and a passionate kiss. And that sometimes love is a shared struggle, an unlikely victory, and a vulnerability hangover. Unconditional partnerships demand unconditional commitment, and unconditional commitment means staying in it for all of it. We wrote these ceremonies to support couples through all the phases and facets of their relationship, not just glorify a single moment and leave them ill-equipped to face their marriage.

Support for A lasting marriage.

We often say something along the lines of: “While this ceremony is a celebration of your love, it’s also intended to support your intention to sustain a loving and lasting marriage.” This is followed by an address (officiant speech) that explores one of the themes we mentioned above. The address is the support. It’s the message that is as realistic as it is hopeful.

May it go well for you.

A good ceremony doesn’t presume anything. It sets an intention, it puts good thoughts out into the world on your behalf. It doesn’t assume that you’re going to make it, but hopefully it prepares you for the commitment you are making so that you have the best possible odds of doing so.