A Guide To Creating The Perfect Elopement Ceremony

There are lots of perks to eloping. Because there’s no one else to consider you get to curate a unique elopement ceremony experience that completely reflects your attitude and aesthetics! But even though you’re eloping, there is still lots to think about. Planning ahead will make all the difference, and we’re here to help you with that! We’re sharing some of our best tips and tricks in this guide to creating the perfect elopement ceremony to make your elopement marriage ceremony a beautiful, fulfilling and stress-free experience!

The heart of the matter.

The ceremony (and when we say ceremony, we don’t just mean exchanging vows) is the pièce de résistance of your wedding day. The words and ideas that frame your commitment matter, a lot. If you’re having a friend or family officiate your elopement ceremony, we highly encourage you to check out our pre-written elopement ceremony scripts. They are modern, unique, free of patriarchal and religious jargon, and free of the usual tacky, insincere and cliche ceremony wording. In addition to selling individual elopement scripts, we created an elopement bundle, which allows you to purchase 5 elopement ceremony scripts for $70 off (which is almost a 50% discount.) This is our best value by far!

Bundle of 5 Elopement Scripts

Plan ahead!

Ceremonies are often an afterthought. But your ceremony is the actual moment when you marry. And it's arguably the most important part of your whole wedding day. So whether it's just the two of you and an officiant (traditional elopement,) the two of you and a handful of guests (mini-money or micro-wedding,) or just the two of you with no one else at all (self-solemnization ceremony,) we highly recommend showing up for your ceremony prepared. Think ahead, talk it over, decide what kind of experience you want for your ceremony in advance and plan accordingly.

Make it meaningful.

If you're on our website and reading this blog, you may already be familiar with our orientation and style. You know that we're non-traditional wedding officiants who support and encourage you to think outside the box and have the elopement experience of your dreams. Break with tradition and make it meaningful to you. Start your marriage off by being intentional about how you get married. It's an amazing way to begin the next chapter of your lives together!

Choose your adventure: self-solemnization, elopement ceremony or micro-wedding.

Eloping allows you a ton of creative freedom. You get to curate an experience that feels magical, memorable and authentic to you. You can have a mini-money or micro-wedding with a few select guests, a self-uniting in marriage, non-clergy wedding ceremony, or you can have an elopement ceremony with a professional officiant or a friend/family member "amateur" officiant. Whether you choose a local state park or the French Riviera, you can pick a spot the matches your aesthetic and your budget. There are endless possibilities for how to elope, so get creative and be unapologetic about your choices! It’s you day, it’s your life, make it great!

elopement wedding ceremony — Photo credit: Melissa Ergo

Things to consider.

Are you anxious, shy or just really private people? Self solemnization may be the best way to go. Want a little guidance so you're not flailing and making it up as you go, buy one of our elopement scripts and ask a friend to officiate your elopement ceremony for you. Want a witness, or two, or five, invite a handful of your closest peeps to witness and celebrate you. If you choose a self-uniting in marriage ceremony, you'll want to consider whether or not you can legally self-solemnize your nuptials in the state or country of your choice. If you’re having a destination elopement, decide whether or not it’s financially and logistically viable to include friends and family in your elopement plans.

nuts and bolts.

Whether or not you need an officiant and/or witness for your marriage to be legal is based upon your location (and the kind of license you get, i.e. public or private license.) In certain US states you can absolutely have a non-clergy, self-uniting wedding ceremony, but in many other states you cannot. Rules, regulations and requirements differ from state to state so be sure to do your research well in advance. Nowadays many elopement photographers double as both planner and professional picture taker. Ask your potential photographer if they offer assistance in planning your elopement. Here are a couple who do: Paige Weber, Melissa Ergo, and Evangeline Lane. We believe some or all of them offer destination elopements, i.e. they will travel for you!

Stress free.

One of the many reasons couples elope is because they want to minimize stress. They may have even started with the big hoopla, shindig shenanigans but got too overwhelmed with all the details and decisions. They want simplicity. We created our pre-written elopement ceremony scripts to be stress free AF! They are instant PDF downloads. (You don’t even need to print them!) And they can be used exactly as is, which truly makes them as stress-free and straightforward as it gets. (They’re also exceptionally budget friendly.)

tips, tricks and tidbits—

Having performed hundreds of elopement ceremonies, we wanted to share a few of our best tips for the ceremony itself. We hope this information will make your elopement ceremony a breeze!

walk this way…

Assuming it’s just the two of you (and an officiant)—

Since there’s no community hooting and hollering as you exit the ceremony, and no bridal party entourage at your back, you need to find a way to manage and maintain the energy. We strongly suggest that you '"recess" after you kiss and the ceremony is officially over. Standing around making small talk or lingering in the ceremony spot can leave you feeling awkward and the ceremony feeling anticlimactic. It’s nice to walk off (without your photographer even!) and have a moment to yourselves to digest what just happened. Take a beat, have a moment, make the most of the transition, and walk forward into your married life together…

Including loved ones from afar.

If you’r eloping with just the two of you, a really nice thing is to have 1-2 loved ones write you letters (snail mail!) with kind words, blessings, advice, etc. You wouldn’t read these before the ceremony, but your officiant could easily integrate them into your elopement ceremony, and we created a dedicated space for this possibility in our self-solemnization, self-uniting in marriage, non-clergy ceremony guide.

Privacy please.

If you are too shy or private to have them hear your vows, have your officiant step off to the side while you exchange your wedding vows. It’s perfectly acceptable ask them to give you some space so you can be alone with each other during the actual vow exchange part of the ceremony. (In this case, we’re talking about personal vows, not “I do” vows, which your officiant would be needed for…)

If you are writing your own personal wedding vows we recommend trying our beloved vow writing tutorial and wedding vow template. It’s a step by step framework to help you write your perfect wedding vows!

Buy the vow writing tutorial

Can I get a witness!

A common elopement ceremony question is whether or not you need a witness to sign your marriage license…

Note: your officiant cannot be your witness, since they are the one solemnizing of the ceremony. The witness would be another person who would sign your marriage license in the witness section of the license.

Whether or not you need a witness will depend on the kind of marriage license you get (public or private,) and what state or country you are getting married in.

You’ll want to do your due diligence and contact the local county clerk’s office of the location you’re getting married in for up to date information.

I get so emotional baby!

Bring tissues. Even if you think you’re not a crier, bring ‘em anyway. Mascara dripping down your face, ugly crying, all chocked up… it happens more than you’d think. The beauty of an elopement is that there’s no need to be performative for anyone. Let your emotions flow, and if the tears come, be ready!

Need more help?

This blog post should help you take the steps you need to create your perfect elopement experience. We definitely recommend starting out with one or several of our elopement ceremony scripts, and if you need morel help with your elopement ceremony script, you can reach out to us for additional coaching and support. If you’re eloping in Colorado or California you can even hire one of us to officiate your elopement ceremony! (Here’s a video featuring Naomi delivering an elopement in Big Sur about the power of pausing to mark and metabolize the magnitude of the occasion!)

And… if you have an elopement ceremony question that we didn’t cover in this blog post, please reach out to us and we will do our best to address it!