Self-Solemnization Wedding Ceremony
“Exceeded expectations in every way! Thank you so much for guiding us through a ceremony that we turned into our own!” —Ramona
You might be thinking, “Why would I need a self solemnization ceremony guide?” We can paint the picture for you: You’re about to get married, and you decide to have a DIY, self-solemnization, self-uniting in marriage, non-clergy wedding ceremony. Nobody else there except you and your beloved. You plan and plan. You hire a photographer, scout locations, make reservations, book travel, buy some designer clothing… Then there’s hair, flowers, rings, makeup, post-ceremony champagne toast, down to the very last detail… only to arrive at your ceremony spot with an awkward “Now what? Do we just read our vows?” feeling. All of that build up just so the energy can fall flat and fizzle out?
If you’re putting in the time, energy and investment for an elopement of your dreams, then you might also want to take the time to create an intentional ceremonial moment and a real sense of occasion.
The ceremony is the actual marrying bit after all! Why let it be an afterthought, when you can bring beauty and pure-hearted presence to the experience? Why skip over it, or speed through it, when you can slow down, enter the zone, share some time without a timeline, and luxuriate in your love? Why not create something special, unique, meaningful and memorable?
Said another way: imagine that your vows are an intimate night in bed, but before that, taking time to create a sexy ambiance (flowers, candles, romantic music, low lighting, wine and dining) to set the mood and build the energy is always a great idea. Your vows are the “main event,” but before that there are things you can do to ensure that the outcome is effervescent ;) You might think of this self solemnization guide as the delicious foreplay that comes before your vows. We’ve also included the ceremonial equivalent of cuddling and pillow talk to make sure it is a complete and cohesive experience all around. In a culture that is somewhat ceremonially illiterate, it can be hard to understand why to and how to create a “grand moment” that has some pomp and circumstance and gravitas. But it makes all the difference!
Giving you a script to read — when you are already reading each other your vows — didn’t make any sense to us, so we created an idea and resource guide that is more ritual dense and action based. In Just the Two of Us, our self solemnization guide, we’ve given you 14 different ritual options and ideas, and plenty of inspiration, guidelines, resources and suggestions. To be extra clear, this is not a ‘script you read’ - it is a dynamic, idea-filled guide to help you create an organic, uniquely personal, self-uniting wedding ceremony for yourselves. The idea is that you’ll read through the document and select the “rituals” that inspire you most, so that you can easily self direct your ceremony on your wedding day.
We are ritual artists first and foremost, and we created this self solemnization ceremony guide for you because we know in our bones the power of ceremony to honor, enhance, elevate, deepen, transform and renew. You’ll thank us, and honestly, your photographer will, too! Their job is to take epic photos, not hold all of that energy or offer you ceremonial direction. However, many couples rely on them for this. It’s an unspoken expectation that couples put on their photographers, but it’s a whole lot of pressure on them. And honestly they’re out of their depth, because a good photographer does not a mistress of ceremonies make!
It’s worth noting that Pennsylvania, Illinois, Wisconsin, Colorado, California, Maine, Nevada, Kansas and the District of Columbia are states that offer iterations of a self-uniting marriage. But be sure to contact the local County Clerk’s office in the state you are getting married in to see what's required of you. While self-solemnization, self-uniting in marriage, non-clergy wedding ceremonies are not easy to pull off in California, there are work arounds as evidenced by the article How to Get a Non-Clergy Wedding in California on the Femme Frugality website.
We wrote this self solemnization ceremony script and guide for couples of all kinds. It is extremely LGBTQIA+ friendly, and can be adapted to fit any and all belief systems. So check out our super budget friendly self solemnization, self uniting in marriage, non-clergy wedding ceremony guide entitled Just The Two Of Us at Owl & Rose Ceremonies on Etsy.